


Unwinding till Death

by raiveparade (Lacramoria)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Depression, F/M, M/M, Mental Illness, Suicidal Thoughts, asexual sasuke uchiha, do you know how annoying sasuke's story line is, do you know how many things weren't touched on in this series, god i dont know what to put here, he's painted the worst person ever because he's been traumatized and like no one helps him out, lots of angst probably, probably not a complete moron naruto, super awesome i dont need no man sakura
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-15 03:51:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5770183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacramoria/pseuds/raiveparade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They use children like chess pieces-- training them until they become weapons, fighting for nothing but the village with no questions asked. They're meant to serve, and never find the dirty little secrets buried deep and hidden by even the most respected. Sasuke Uchiha does not look upon Konoha as home, but it is the place he has grown up in. It's the place he's made friends in. And if Konoha isn't his home, the people he's grown close to are a kind of home. </p><p>In which: Sasuke's bonds are almost more important than killing his brother. Almost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: The ANBU

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I haven't written a fic in a l o n g time. So if this first part is a bit wonky, forgive me. Warnings will be mentioned by chapter, since I'm not so sure exactly how dark this might get.

In which: Konoha deals with orphans very poorly.

 

                The Uchiha compound was silent. He could almost trick himself into believing that everyone was tucked away in their beds asleep, but it was daytime and all was a void. In the two weeks since Sasuke had been in the hospital, they had cleared up the bodies, the blood and left a pristine ghost town in their wake. The dead stillness was worse than the nightmares of his brother’s betrayal that had played on repeat for the last two weeks.

 

A hand fell on his shoulder and he started, having forgotten the ANBU who had escorted him from the hospital. Sasuke jerked from the contact and looked up into the blank mask of the shinobi. He had said little since his arrival, either not the kind of person for small-talk, or simply a trait specific to ANBU. Sasuke wasn’t interested in chatting, but the silence of the compound, and the lack of communication from his companion made him all the more anxious. He took a few steps forward, willing it to be just any other day.

 

“You don’t have to stay here,” said the ANBU from only a short distance behind. His voice was had the tone of the disinterested, and Sasuke glanced back. He couldn’t discern anything from that white mask and could only narrow his eyes on the mess of white hair just visible above it.

 

“Where else am I going to go?” Sasuke’s pace was slow but continuous, his gaze on the floor and not their surroundings. If he had to look at the empty houses any longer he might throw up.

 

“I know Hokage-sama gave you a choice,” and now the voice was closer, coming from just beside him again. Sasuke glanced over. He’d heard the medics talking about how the orphanage was over-crowded. There was something going on in another village, and they had just taken in an influx of children. The thought alone was unfathomable. He didn’t want to be holed up in a room with anyone, much less some kid who thought he might be able to relate on the mere basis of them both having lost their families. They couldn’t understand the circumstances surrounding his state of affairs. He hardly understood it himself. Sasuke shrugged, unwilling to give an answer. The ANBU probably didn’t care.

 

How could the man understand that this was home? This was where he had been born, where his father and mother made a living, where the Uchiha were meant to remain. Sasuke was an Uchiha, and so he would stay for as long as the village allowed. He didn’t understand the particulars of the arrangement, but he knew that empty buildings were meant to be filled. Perhaps they would be boarded up forever, and his lone house the only light left. He’d been told he was left money, enough to support him for the next few years and into adulthood, but not enough to handle the upkeep of an entire section of the village. The thought sounded exhausting. Sasuke couldn’t grasp the concepts of economy and government yet. They were just words with school book definitions that made sense in his mind but not in practice. Someone could have answered the questions for him, but they weren’t here. They were a name on a memorial, with a body six feet under.

 

“I can get the rest of the way myself,” Sasuke said in lieu of reply, despite not wanting to traverse the quiet road alone. Even in the day light there were ghosts in each closed doorway. If he turned to glance, they might just wave, or fall apart. The ANBU ignored him, for what it was worth. He felt him close behind, his footsteps slower than Sasuke’s short gait. He didn’t make a sound.

 

They reached the steps of the house. It looked dark and foreboding, unlike any time before. He didn’t hear his mother inside, nor his father, nor—anyone. There would be food, he knew, because someone had told him they had brought groceries. Perhaps it was after the bodies had been cleared and the blood cleaned away. Sasuke didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t move from the steps, staring at the closed doors as if they were stone walls.

 

“I’ll be back to check up on you in a week,” said the ANBU. Sasuke didn’t jump at the sound of his voice. He turned to look. The shinobi lingered and Sasuke wondered if there was something he was meant to say. He didn’t. “If you need anything, just ask for me.”

 

He was gone before Sasuke could request a name, but then he supposed the mask was enough. He thought ANBU all had different masks, didn’t they? The boy shook his head, uncertain, turned to the doors again and stepped forward. He thought of exploring the house like it was new and uncharted. It was stupid, he was tired, and though his bed was not comforting, it didn’t stink of blood or hospital antiseptic.

  

* * *

 

 

“How is he?”

 

Sarutobi’s back was to him when he entered. Kakashi didn’t answer right away, still caught on the last look the boy had given him—lost and fragile. It wasn’t his problem, but it still felt like it.

 

“As well as anyone can expect,” Kakashi said, finally, and Sarutobi turned now, nodding his head in the sage way old men did. He had tons of questions—like whether it was right for the Uchiha boy to be left alone in the compound, or if he should have been forced to stay at the orphanage. They were insubordinate, so he stood quiet. This wasn’t his problem, and it wasn’t his decision to make.

 

“I’ll see to him tomorrow,” The Third’s expression was troubled, mind elsewhere—perhaps with the boy, perhaps not. Kakashi didn’t pretend to know what the man was thinking. “There is a team looking into Uchiha Itachi’s whereabouts, as our first and foremost priority.”

 

“Didn’t he defect?” a frown creased behind the mask. It wasn’t a question of where did he defect, only that he did—or at least that was what Kakashi understood.

 

“That is what we presume,” The Third took a seat, folding his hands before him. His figure was tense, as if he would freeze in the pose. “Only further investigation will prove that as fact. For now, though, I have another assignment for you.”

 

“What about the boy?” Kakashi’s frown deepened.

 

“You’ll see him in a week, as planned.”

 

There was nothing more to discuss. Whether Kakashi believed the Third’s statement or not, wasn’t important. He would take the assignment as was needed, and then consider everything else after. He took the short way back to his apartment, still vaguely troubled. He couldn’t explain to himself or anyone why Sasuke Uchiha’s plight bothered him more than any others, but it did. He almost thought of returning to the compound if only to watch and make certain nothing went wrong. But it was a foolish idea, and even more paranoid. What would happen to the boy in an empty house? There were other shinobi posted. They would take care of anything should it occur, but he doubted it. If the boy hadn’t been killed two weeks ago, why would the brother return to finish the job? Sasuke had said everything he could remember, including the message left to him by his sibling before disappearing outside of Konoha’s borders. Kakashi had seen the massacre himself. All the bodies strewn across the road and inside houses. It had been quick and simple, no alarm sounded until much later after the deed was completed. If he was suspicious, he would think conspiracy, but he wasn’t. He’d known Itachi little, but from what he remembered there had been no sign of this breakdown.

 

It was cold and efficient, like death itself had swept across the compound and taken every single soul, except one boy’s. Kakashi had recognized faces, some in passing, others because of Obito’s family after the eye had been transplanted into his own head. He remembered the uproar over someone outside of the clan family possessing the kekkei genkai, and how he’d been forced to recount his best friend’s death. The eye was like a last will and testament, and in the end the Uchiha had relented. He was never accepted, but he was close enough that aside from Sasuke, and perhaps more than Sasuke, he held the clan’s traditions and teachings in his chest. Kakashi did not question why he had been chosen to watch over the boy when there were others to do it. He knew the reason.

 

It was why he felt responsible, despite having nothing to do with Uchiha Itachi’s descent into madness (was that it?). The boy was young. In a few years he would begin to forget things—whatever teachings Fugaku had instilled in him, whatever words his mother might have said to tuck him in at night. He doubted he would forget his brother’s words. Kakashi knew he wouldn’t. There was a promise sealed there.

 

As he cooked himself dinner in his quiet kitchen, Kakashi couldn’t help but worry. How had being alone impacted him? He had been an orphan as well; traumatized by the sight of his father’s body. Sasuke was nothing more than a witness as well, a victim. Would he too grow to become cold, distant and full of self-hatred? Shaking his head harshly to dispel the thoughts, he focused on his meal. There was nothing he could do for the boy. Nothing. Yet no matter how many times he told himself that, repeated it in his head, he couldn’t stop thinking of that last look on the boy’s face.

 

* * *

 

 

It became routine. Once a week the ANBU would show at the edge of the Uchiha Compound as Sasuke returned from the Academy. The first time he appeared, the boy was surprised having forgotten the promise he would see him within a week. He was tired and had slept little since returning from the hospital. He wasn’t superstitious and didn’t believe in ghosts, but every creak of the floor boards or disturbing breeze made him jump in anticipation. Elongated shadows danced in the moonlight and Sasuke stared at them for a long time before telling himself it was nothing.

 

When he was a little bit younger, perhaps four or five years old, he would frighten in the night. He couldn’t remember whether it was the fear of some monsters or the whispers coming from the other rooms. He only knew he was convinced that there was something to be afraid of. Sasuke had run, little feet pattering across the floor boards to Itachi’s room and settled in beside him. The elder would wake in confusion before asking in a soft voice whether it was a nightmare that had scared him. Sasuke would mumble some affirmative, even if it was a lie, and Itachi would only smile and say ‘You’re safe here’. As time passed, he Fugaku had learned of the habit and curbed it. He didn’t want any coddling, and he thought Sasuke should learn to face his fears on his own. There was no such thing as monsters, or ghosts, and he needed to understand that. It took time, and sometimes Sasuke remembered Itachi coming to check up on him anyway. Perhaps after the frequency of Sasuke’s visits, the elder had become accustomed to waking in the middle of the night.

 

Now there was no one to comfort him. His father could not scold him. His mother could not offer her kind smiles and a warm hug. Itachi had killed them for no reason except that he could. It wasn’t superstitious fears that kept him up at night. Sasuke was afraid of one person, and also angry. He would wake in the middle of the night with the sight of his parent’s bodies still fresh in his mind’s eye. Once the tears abated, and they always came no matter how hard he tried to remember to be strong, he thought of Itachi and all the ways he was going to kill him.

 

The day the ANBU appeared, Sasuke’s appearance was haggard and tired, as if he had aged several years since the massacre. His innocence had been torn to shreds, he was not really a child anymore. The masked figure waved at him, but the boy only grunted a greeting. He had never been a very talkative or friendly child towards anyone outside of the Uchiha clan, and that had only worsened. His classmates had learned that quickly enough, and by the time the end of the week came, they didn’t even consider the thought of interacting with him. This man was not a classmate. He would not be deterred by Sasuke’s attitude.

 

“Yo,” the ANBU said.

 

“You don’t have to walk me home again,” Sasuke passed him without pause. “I’m alive, obviously. That’s all you’re here to see, right?”

 

“Maybe,” said the shinobi.

 

“Tch,” Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets and trudged forward not in the slightest interested in having conversation. He’d yet to get used to this emptiness. There were storefronts he remembered frequenting, and faces he remembered passing each day. He doubted he could ever grow accustomed to how deserted the buildings were or how his memories filled up the space.

 

They walked the rest of the way in silence, and once again the ANBU waited at the edge of the steps. Sasuke didn’t look back this time, but he felt him leave all the same. As the weeks passed, Sasuke found himself looking forward to these short meetings. It had taken no time at all for Konoha to forget the massacre’s lone survivor. On the outside, their expressions were painted with unconcealed pity and Sasuke had grown tired of it. At the end of the day they would return to their homes and hug their significant others, their children and say how glad they were it wasn’t them. Beyond short glances or meaningless condolence, no one really cared. He was invisible. Sasuke never noticed before how lonely it could be without a family to come home to. The Uchiha Clan had been a community, one that took care of its own. There was no one left to take care of Sasuke, and so the rest of the village turned a blind eye. What it came down to was this: he wasn’t part of their clan or family and so he was nothing more than another orphan with unfortunate circumstances.

 

Sasuke had kept everyone at arms-length on virtue of being an Uchiha. Now they stayed separate. The ANBU was the only one who came to see him, even if it was on orders, and though the boy would never admit, Sasuke was getting used to it. They still didn’t talk very much beyond passing greeting, but Sasuke had stopped walking ahead of the white haired shinobi. Instead he fell into step beside him, hands in his pockets.

 

This time when they reached the house, Sasuke turned to the man, his dark eyes averted to a place on the ground. It was an uncharacteristic display. The boy was bold and unafraid to keep eye contact. Kakashi said nothing and waited.

 

“Wanna come in?” Sasuke gestured to the door with his head, eyes finally drawing from the ground to look up. He could tell from the way the man’s figure straightened he had surprised him with the question. It was a testament to his loneliness that he asked at all. It was a weakness he should stamp out of himself, but the thought of spending another evening alone made him adhere to the desire. He thought briefly of Itachi, and then ignored it.

 

“I suppose I can stay for a moment,” the ANBU said in an almost hesitant manner. Sasuke felt the faintest hint of a smile quirk his lips before he fought the impulse. He turned to enter, sliding off his shoes at the door and offering a mental tadaima to the empty house. Even though he didn’t believe in ghosts, it was almost comforting to think his parent’s spirits were there greeting him anyway. He’d lost the fear of the creaking floor boards, and almost welcomed their sound. When everything was silent, it was strange what noises would be desired. “That reminds me…”

 

Sasuke turned to look at his guest, awkwardly standing in the middle of the main room. From inside his vest he pulled out a familiar envelope. It was the monthly allowance. In the last two months the Third had come to deliver it himself. The man was ever serious, as if this was some kind of ritual he needed to perform and wash his hands of it. Sasuke took the offered envelope, and for once didn’t feel like he was burdensome.

 

“…I have tea,” Sasuke shoved a chair in front of the cupboards to reach it. The small box was the same his mother used to purchase. Most of the groceries were things he remembered appearing in the kitchen after his mother had gone shopping. He couldn’t cook much of anything yet, except simple things with instructions on the package, but he was trying.

 

“That’s fine,” The ANBU was right behind him, “I won’t be staying long. I have other things to get to.”

 

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Sasuke held the box in his hand, and tried not to sound disappointed.

 

“How about next time?” came the offer. “I’ll make sure I can spend the evening.”

 

“Will you take off that dumb mask?”

 

Kakashi paused to stare at the boy and then shook his head. Sasuke felt like he’d just asked a stupid question. The ANBU turned away from him and retreated out the door. Somehow, despite not staying even more than a few minutes, Sasuke didn’t feel nearly as bad as he would have on another day. The ANBU stayed the week after as promised and relented when he asked to teach him some more advanced taijutsu. Sasuke spent the next week perfecting each movement, wanting to be just as smooth; remembering how Itachi had moved as well and wanting to be better. That, too, became a routine.

 

Until one day, a year after this all started, the ANBU appeared to him as he always did and said, “I’m afraid this is the last time I’ll be seeing you.”

 

“What?” Sasuke blurted out without meaning to. He tried not to seem so invested in these visits, but after all this time, it was the only thing he clung to with any kind of hope.

 

“This is our last meeting, Sasuke,” the ANBU said and Sasuke thought he might have sounded a little regretful. Despite himself, he couldn’t help but feel angry—betrayed. He knew this arrangement was on orders, that the other didn’t really care, but it felt like a betrayal anyhow. Sasuke schooled his features to look unaffected, but he knew his face had grown hot.

 

“Fine,” Sasuke shrugged, stuffing hands into his pockets and walking passed him. “Whatever.”

 

Kakashi followed after him, watched him enter the house alone, and disappeared. For the last few months, he’d done this of his own accord. He had no orders binding him to the Uchiha. He’d grown a soft spot for the boy, something he’d sworn not to do. Tomorrow he would be speaking with the Hokage and had an idea that his time in ANBU would soon be over. Somehow, that didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would.

 

He hoped the kid would be alright.


	2. Child Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which: Konoha doesn't know how to treat trauma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...i meant to post this a week after i posted the first one but of course that didn't happen. i had to work out how i wanted the story to go. this is going to be slow and seem a bit disjointed for now. i dont plan on putting any of the actual scenes from the manga/anime in, but if i do things will most likely be changed a bit as this story is an alternate universe. you'll see where it really diverges. anyway. hope you like this.

“But what they forgot was you don’t need to break my bones for you to break me.”

\---

He woke the same way he went to sleep: in degrees of distress. First the tossing and turning, then the flustered noises, a gasp, a shout, a cry-- and finally the opening of his eyes. His gaze flitted around the room in momentary disorientation, his chest heaving with the hurried pace of his heart. The flashes of blood, his parent’s bodies, the others cut down by his brother’s blade—and Itachi’s own eyes, swirling with the Sharingan as they stared into Sasuke’s. He screwed his eyes shut and sucked in a few slow breaths to keep from throwing up. It wouldn’t be the first time, and he imagined it wouldn’t be the last. The clock on his bedside table had yet to ring the alarm for school, but there was no going back to sleep now. This was a regular, near-everyday occurrence. Sometimes he wondered if this would be a near-everyday occurrence for the rest of his life. It had already gone on for the last three years. He couldn’t imagine it for much longer.

As he did every morning, Sasuke readied himself in mechanical motions. He thought the same questions that never passed his lips, and were never answered. He wasn’t sure who would answer them if he spoke them anyway. He knew that life as a shinobi was a hard one. Though he tried not to think of him too much, he could remember the tired look in Itachi’s face whenever he came home after a mission. He remembered how his father’s expression would soften just a little. Sasuke had known then, just as he knew now, that they lost people. When someone died in the Uchiha clan, it was not the single family that mourned, but the whole clan. They may not have all worn mourning clothes, or lit incense for the deceased, but Sasuke remembered the moments of silence. It was a practice he still did, repeating each and every name he could remember in his mind; all the names Itachi had taken. It was his way of apologizing and promising that one day he would avenge them all. These were the things he thought of daily, but they were not the questions. 

He always wondered if the other shinobi slept like he did when they lost someone. Did they wake up at night in a cold sweat? Did they feel sick in the morning sometimes remembering the deceased? Sasuke didn’t know how to approach these questions and he didn’t know who to ask. He’d once considered going up to Iruka-sensei, but the chuunin didn’t seem like the right person to ask. Sometimes he thought of the ANBU that used to come by once a week to the Uchiha Compound, but he didn’t know what happened to him since. He hardly ever saw any of the ANBU, and when he did, none of them shared the mask of his ANBU. Sasuke stopped searching and yet he still found himself glancing once in a while—hoping, just a little. It always made him somewhat angry that he could still have such a childish feeling.

There was no room for hope if he was to kill Itachi. There was no room for a very many things if that goal was to be seen. He would continue to wake up every morning and sleep every night with the images of his dead parents in his head. Sasuke couldn’t afford to forget. Questioning it was a weakness, because it meant he wanted to be rid of that pain, when it was the very thing pushing him forward. By the time he was dressed and ready, Sasuke already wanted the day to be over. Such a thought also felt like a weakness (and yet, he felt so much older than eleven). The alarm in his room went off. He made breakfast in twenty minutes and was out the door in the next five. It was a long way to the Academy from the Uchiha Compound. He made sure he never had to run.

Sasuke was always the first person in the classroom. Everyone else would file in chatting with a friend, while he sat very still in his seat. Sometimes he would keep his eyes closed, while others he would simply stare straight ahead at the chalk board. His classmates talked—a lot of the times about him, as if he wasn’t in the room. He preferred that to the chatter of the girls when they started entering. Plenty of them were trying to get his attention, as if he had time to deal with any of them. Sakura and Ino were the most annoying, fighting to gain his affections when neither one caught his eye. None of them did. He wished they would leave him alone. They couldn’t understand. They didn’t wake up the way he did, they didn’t prepare breakfast alone, they didn’t walk through the quiet, empty Uchiha Compound and wish for the old sounds of childhood. They didn’t know how lonely it was or how angry it made him.

Except for Naruto, he supposed, but Naruto was an idiot and didn’t count (and he didn’t have anyone to lose in the first place). Still. He was the only one who might have understood—if he wasn’t so annoying or such an idiot. It infuriated Sasuke that the blond seemed always capable of getting under his skin. He thought it was because of how opposed they were: Sasuke was dark and pale and made every effort to be completely ignored whereas Naruto seemed to be sunshine incarnate, with his orange jumpsuit and his bright smile and his need to be the center of attention. He wondered how much longer he’d be stuck with the moron. 

 

Grin and bear it—it was the kind of thing that came to mind every time he passed another villager’s angry glare. Naruto had dealt with their strange behavior for as long as he could remember. He had dealt with it for as long as old man Third had been handing him monthly slips. If he thought about it for too long, he might have grown angry, but Naruto wasn’t the kind of person to think on it too much. It wasn’t worth it. Getting angry never made them see him in a better light. They just looked at him even more warily. So he’d learned to smile wider and laugh off their insults. Things had gotten a lot easier since Iruka sensei had been helping him out some more. He’d even taught him how to cook something new. It wasn’t better than ramen, but then nothing was better than ramen (and Teuchi had promised him a big bowl if he managed to stay out of trouble that day). 

Still, walking from his apartment to the Academy was always the least fun part of his day. He always had to go it alone. Sometimes it brought up some bad thoughts, things he wouldn’t tell anyone. Who could blame him though, really? He’d dealt with the village’s strangeness for years, and it was only the sight of the four carved faces in the mountain’s face that kept him going forward. One day, his face would be carved up there as well. He would make damn sure of it. Such thoughts kept him from paying any more attention to the people around him, at least up until he arrived before the Academy. He’d have to make it through another few weeks if he was to become Hokage. 

The hallways inside were already filling with students. From down the hall he could see several filing into his own homeroom. No one seemed to be blocking the entrance which meant both Sakura and Ino had already entered, or they were later than usual. He peeked inside before sauntering in, grinning widely at the rest of his classmates.

“Morning!” the word burst forth from his lips like a bullhorn. A few of them glanced toward him. There was a half-hearted wave from Chouji, his other hand deep in the bowels of his chip bag. Next to him Shikamaru hadn’t even turned to look around. Kiba was talking animatedly in front of them, Akamaru peeking out from his jacket. Further inside the classroom were none other than Sakura and Ino, fighting once again over—the bastard. 

Years would pass and still the Uchiha managed to gain all the attention from nearly every girl in their class. It didn’t matter that he didn’t notice them. They all seemed to try even harder to get his attention. Naruto didn’t get it. He was an asshole, and had been since they were children. Even before… 

Not that Naruto remembered much about ‘before’. Sasuke had always been quiet. He’d always been frowning or scowling or acting better than everyone, but after the rumors things had changed. Sasuke had always been on the fringe, but Naruto remembered how he’d go home alone after. No one ever came to pick him up from the Academy anymore (Naruto remembered his mother coming to get him sometimes, or the taller boy with the deep lines in his face). He never spoke to any of them, having always been wary of the adults and their whispering, but there absence had been noticed. It didn’t change how he felt about Sasuke. He was still a bastard and deserved to be knocked down a few pegs—but it didn’t meant Naruto didn’t notice the slight change. How his scowls and frowns weren’t just for show anymore. Sasuke was angry, and sometimes it reminded Naruto of the anger that built up inside from the villager’s treatment.

It made him want to beat Sasuke’s face in all the more.

“Oi, teme, aren’t you gonna say anything to Sakura-chan, dattebayo?!” Naruto leaned forward against the desk, hardly aware he’d walked toward them. 

“Cut it out, Naruto,” Sakura glared as if the blond had said something to insult her. “Sasuke-kun can do whatever he wants.”

“But Sakura-chan!” Naruto just didn’t get it. Even when he was trying to help her get that bastard’s attention, she still got mad at him. Maybe if he died his hair and became all broody like the Uchiha, then she’d notice him. Too bad, that wasn’t going to happen.  
“Why do you always have to be so annoying?” 

Naruto would have spat out a response had Iruka not announced his arrival to the class. The students all made a ruckus as they climbed into their seats. Sakura had taken a seat in between Naruto and Sasuke, but it didn’t stop the blond from glancing every so often at the dark haired boy. He hadn’t budged an inch, not when Iruka asked a question, not when he shouted at another classmate for not paying attention. It was eerie, and disturbing and Naruto couldn’t help but think back to the rumors. 

What it came down to was this: most people either ignored or forgot Naruto Uzumaki’s existence. He was a blight on the village, and so as long as he didn’t cause trouble (something he often did) everyone ignored him. At eight years old, Naruto hadn’t been nearly as troublesome and the days after the Uchiha Massacre, everyone had been talking. The only good thing about being ignored was that people often said things they shouldn’t in your presence. Naruto had heard a lot of things over the years (like how the Third didn’t have a very good relationship with his son, or how the Uchiha Clan was having trouble with the Hyuuga Clan, or how they were sending out shinobi to Sunagakure because something really bad was happening). Sometimes when he sat at Ichiraku, there would be jounin discussing their latest mission and Naruto would get to listen in. Most people would think Naruto would blurt out everything he heard, but the truth was he held a lot of secrets. He knew things the village might not have wanted him to know, or at least he thought so. When people started whispering about the Uchiha, Naruto had heard. 

He’d heard about someone named Itachi and how he’d killed every single one of his clan members except for his little brother. It took a few days for Naruto to put two and two together. It wasn’t because of stupidity. He didn’t like to hear such a gruesome thing, and so he’d tried to ignore it. It wasn’t until he saw Sasuke Uchiha two weeks later that he realized: the little brother that hadn’t died was him. Naruto had all but forgotten the name he’d heard, but he it was hard to erase that Sasuke was right in front of him. He’d thought about going to the Uchiha Compound, partly out of morbid curiosity, partly because he wasn’t sure what to expect. He knew logically the village would have cleaned up the bodies, but what would they do with the houses? What would they do with all that empty space? What would they do with Sasuke? 

Would he end up like him, being given an envelope once a month for food? Would the village glare at him now too? Naruto had hoped such a thing wouldn’t happen. He might not have been the smartest person, but he knew that it must have been awful to lose all those people. All those family members. He couldn’t begin to imagine that. All he’d ever known was loneliness. He’d wondered then about how Sasuke was dealing with that. The years had passed, and he still wondered. The way Sasuke stared so blankly at the front of the classroom made him think he hadn’t dealt with that loneliness well at all. Naruto couldn’t imagine being so quiet or so still after any of that, even all this time later. 

 

The sun was setting by the time they were released from class and the sky was a brilliant splash of pastels. The river appeared to be awash with color, as if the water was paint. Naruto imagined himself jumping in and emerging all blue and purple and orange. Most of the other students had disappeared, returning home to their families. He knew there was a steaming hot bowl of ramen waiting for him at Ichiraku’s, but Teuchi could wait a while longer. As much as Naruto disliked the morning walking to school, he enjoyed the evenings going home. Everyone was closing up shop, and no one had any time to frown at the whiskered blonde. 

Ahead of him, walking leisurely along the riverside, he spotted Sasuke. The boy had his hands in his pockets and gaze was similarly on the river. Naruto wondered if he was thinking the same things as him, but that was ludicrous. He couldn’t imagine Sasuke ever thinking about jumping in the river. That seemed like it would be far too much fun. Against his better judgement, Naruto picked up the pace and called out to the Uchiha.

“Hey, Sasuke!”

There was a slight hitch in the boy’s step. Sasuke’s head bobbled slightly as if he had thought of turning to look and didn’t. Naruto didn’t refrain from his course. In no time at all he fell into step alongside Sasuke, who, in typical fashion, didn’t even glance his way.

“Too good to talk to me, huh?” Naruto snapped. “That’s alright, because when I become Hokage, you’ll wish you’d talked to me.”

Sasuke snorted at the announcement, the first acknowledgement of Naruto’s words all day. The blond was so surprised he almost stopped walking.

“What’s that for? Don’t think I’ll make it’ttebayo? Well you just wait and see. I’ll show you! I’ll show everybody.”

“Whatever you say, uzuratonkachi,” Sasuke said. “You think the village would ever make you Hokage? Keep dreaming.” 

“You think they’d pick you?”

“They would over you,” Sasuke shrugged. “Now, get lost. You’re ruining my walk.” 

Naruto bristled. He should have been used to this treatment by now and yet anything the Uchiha said always managed to get on his nerves. Maybe Sasuke always just managed to be the last straw. Why wouldn’t he be annoyed by yet another person dismissing him? Always. It was always different how Sasuke did it. He did it to everyone. What made him so high and mighty? Why couldn’t he be like that? He shook his head roughly and hurried up after Sasuke.

“You always walk home alone dattebayo,” Naruto said. “Is one day with company going to kill ya?” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I like being alone.”

“Yeah, right,” Naruto mirrored the action. “Nobody likes being alone.”

“Says who? You? Not everyone’s like you.”

“I never said everyone’s gotta be like me! But you can’t be for real,” Naruto leaned into Sasuke’s personal space, blue eyes narrowed on him. “I mean—I’ve seen where you live, ya know. The place is empty, dattebayo!” 

Sasuke stiffened. Every inch of his body looked as though he were about to attack. His expression which seconds before had been bland and uninterested, turned icy. Naruto was certain he was about to throw a punch. The blond almost considered leaving right then and there, but he wasn’t a coward. If they were going to end up in a fight, then he wouldn’t back down. But just as the boy was getting ready, it seemed Sasuke had fizzled out. 

“What the hell were you doing at the Uchiha Compound?”

“What do you mean?” Naruto blinked. “It’s not like it’s closed off or nothin’. Besides, everyone knows it’s empty!” 

There was a reason it was empty. They were all dead, all except for the boy standing in front of him. Sasuke’s expression was closed off, shuttered. They had stopped walking, and were just staring at each other in the middle of the road. 

“Why…why do you still live there, anyway?” Naruto said, hesitant. Sasuke still hadn’t said anything, still hadn’t moved. The silence was unnerving and the question seemed as good as any. The brunet finally looked away, turning and shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Someone like you wouldn’t understand,” Sasuke said, continuing forward.

“What’s that supposed to mean dattebayo!” Naruto followed after, taking the Uchiha’s lead. 

“It means you’re an idiot.”

“It’s just a question, yanno. You don’t have to be such an asshole. I get it. Your family lived there, right? I mean, I wouldn’t want to leave either. But…But you can’t like living alone like that’tebayo!” 

Sasuke snarled. “I told you to get lost! What do you want from me?”

Naruto sucked his teeth. “Nothing from you! Why would I want something? It’s just that...” he averted his gaze. “I don’t know. I have to walk home too, you know.”

The Uchiha didn’t say anything. He understood, in a way. He didn’t want to, but he did. Sasuke huffed, loudly. 

“Whatever,” all the anger he’d felt well up inside him seemed to vanish. “You’re still an idiot.”

“And you’re a bastard,” Naruto spat and then… “…Uh, do you like ramen?”

“No,” Sasuke shot him an odd look. “Why?”

“Well, the ojii-san at Ichiraku always gives me a free bowl. Maybe he’d give you one too.”  
“I don’t need anyone’s charity,” and yet he found himself considering it. Sasuke hesitated. For a moment, he thought of the ANBU waiting for him at the Compound all those years ago. He thought of the sparring sessions, the brief moment of being content. How long had it been since he had actually interacted with anyone outside of the Academy? “Are you going now?”

“Yeah,” Naruto said. He didn’t even know why he invited the bastard. 

“Do they sell anything other than Ramen?”

“Uh, I don’t think so…” Naruto shrugged. 

Sasuke heaved a sigh. “Fine, whatever, let’s go.”

A grin lit up Naruto’s face, and then a second later turned to distaste. “Don’t take this the wrong way now! I still hate your guts dattebayo!”

“Don’t worry, the feeling’s mutual.”


End file.
